2020年9月 第10页
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英语幽默小故事：Bar Mitzva Bee
Two bees met in a field. One said to the other, "How are things going?" "Really bad," said the second bee. "The weather has been cold, wet and damp, and there aren't any flowers, so I can't make honey." 两只蜜蜂在一块田里相遇了。一只说：“最近怎么样啊？”“不怎么样。”另一只说，“天气凉了又潮湿，花都不...
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最新英语幽默小故事：Janitor Dog
A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don't be surp...
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最新英语幽默小故事：金发姑娘的狗
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. 一个女孩去拜访她的金发朋友，这个朋友最近养了两只“狗”，于是女孩问道：“它们叫什么名字呀？” The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. 金发朋友说，一只叫R...
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有趣英语幽默小故事：跛腿
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. 两个人在人行道上分别拖着自己的右腿，相向而行。 As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, Vietnam, 1969." 他们相遇了，一个人理解地看着另一个人，指着自己的腿...
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新奇英语幽默小故事：野鸭猎人的狗
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would believe him. 一位贪婪的鸭子猎手想在市场上买只新的捕鸟的狗。当看见一只狗能在水...
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英语幽默小故事：独自在家
英语幽默故事简短，内容诙谐幽默，情节生动有趣，相信在你在阅读的同时也可以一起学习英语哦。 下面分享下今天的这篇英语幽默故事：独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from, knowing she is home alone. 我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。 One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the do...
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英语幽默笑话：One Side of the Case 一面之辞
A judge asked our group of potential jurors whether anyone should be excused, and one man raised his hand. "I can't hear out of my left ear," the man told the judge. "Can you hear out of your right ear?" the judge asked. The man nodded his head. ...
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英语幽默笑话：Excellent Skills
After friends of mine landed at busy Newwark Airport, they were unable to attract the attention of any porters to help with their luggage. In desperation, the husband took out a five-dollar bill and waved it above the crowd. In an instant, a skycap was...
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英语幽默笑话：A Thank-you Note
Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- so...
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英语幽默笑话：我是来装电话的
What a big deal A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal workin...
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英语幽默笑话：Three pastors 三个牧师
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft（阁楼） and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away. Ano...
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英语幽默笑话：心不在焉的老师
An Absent Minded ProfessorA notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement． A pupil meeting him said： “Good evening，professor．How are you？ “Well，” answered t...
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英语幽默笑话：新老师
George comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....." 9月1日， 乔治放学...
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英语幽默笑话：谁的儿子最伟大
The Astronaut Pen During the heat of the space race in the 1960s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and developm...
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英语幽默笑话：Now I have two skunks in there
"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?" "Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open." ...
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英语幽默笑话：雇主和雇员
Workman：“Mr．Brown，I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages． I have just been married．” Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't helpyou． For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible．” 工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一...
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英语幽默笑话：What Color 什么颜色
What Color什么颜色 An impoverished graduate student at Clemson University in South Carolina, I was excited when my father informed me that he had bought me a car. Hardly able to contain my enthusiasm, I asked Dad the typical questions: "What kind is it? Doe...
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英语幽默笑话：借公牛一用
Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the note to the rich ma...
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英语幽默笑话：一切都正常
Things Have Been Okay A young couple were becoming anxious about their four-year-old son, who had not yet talked. They took him to specialists, but the doctors found nothing wrong with him. Then one morning at breakfast the boy suddenly blurted, Mom, th...
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英语幽默笑话：我丈夫马上就要回来了
My Husband Will Be Home SoonA married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard."Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly...
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英语幽默笑话：Intelligent son 聪明的儿子
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope. After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in...
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英语幽默笑话：Sharing the Apples 分苹果
Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said. So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one. Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I...
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英语幽默笑话：A Present 凯特的礼物
Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday? Mom: No, Honey, what? Kate: A nice teapot. Mom: But I've got a nice teapot. Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗？ 妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀？ 凯特：一...
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英语幽默笑话：Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is be...
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英语幽默笑话：Boy, Oh Boy 让人无奈的孩子
When they're together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. "All right, you two," I said sternly. "No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."...
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英语幽默笑话：How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father. Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel. Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分...
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英语幽默笑话：Birthday 生日
Professor: When is your birthday? Kid: May 30. Professor: Which year? Kid: Every year.教授：你的生日是什么时候？ 孩子：5月30日。 教授：哪一年？ 孩子：每年都是。...
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英语幽默笑话：Does He Bite 它咬人吗
Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him? Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite? Reggie: That's what I want to find out.里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？ 罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？ 里基：这正是我想要查明的。...
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英语小笑话：我认为我是一只鸡
Psychiatrist: What's your problem? 精神病医师：你哪里不舒服? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. 病人：我认为我是一只鸡。 Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? 精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! 病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。 词汇学习： Psy...
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英语小笑话：赚了一块两毛五
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father. 弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。 Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel. 姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你五分钱。 Little brother: That makes a bu...
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英语小笑话：你眼睛都闭上了
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" 当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘...
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英语小笑话：为什么我的答案是错的
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend.“ 你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说 "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my an...
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英语小笑话：爸爸去哪儿了
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!” "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the chi...
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英语小笑话：我想你嫁给农夫琼斯
Old Farmer Johnson was dying. 老农约翰逊就要死了。 The family was standing around his bed. 他的家人都站在床边。 With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." 他声音低沉地对妻子说：“我死后，我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。” Wife: "No, I can't marry...
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英语小笑话：我是教历史的
A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table 一位历史老师和他的妻子在吃饭 the wife asked “Anything new at work”, and he replied", no, I am teaching History". 妻子问到：“工作上有什么新鲜事吗?”丈夫回答说：“没有，我是教历史的。” 词汇学习： history teacher 历史老师 replied 回答 [rep...
